I was playing with Zac on our bed the other day when it struck me, out of the blue, just how much he has grown.

The bubba is actively communicating with us now, with his squawks and chants of “ma ma ma”. He does this funny affectionate thing of leaning his forehead into yours. When you ask for kisses, he turns to you with an open mouth. He can now sit up by himself confidently and steadily. He’s been crawling for more than a month now and he is so good at pulling himself up into a standing position. It’s really cute, he is clearly very happy that he can now look at the world from a higher vantage point. And then suddenly, he’s letting go of his hand and he is standing up unassisted – just for a heartbeat – before he plops down on his cushy diapered butt with a big grin.

My heart burst with pride and then it was quickly replaced by a pang. My baby is growing up so very fast. It wouldn’t be long before he starts to toddle along and then, woah, we’d be blowing out the single candle on his birthday cake.

Where did the time go?

It sounds almost terrible but the time we spent with my second-born seems to fly by so very fast. The husband agrees that it feels like Zac has grown up almost too quickly, we haven’t had the chance to savour his every milestone the way we did with his big brother. Oftentimes, our attention is given to our first-born, he who is chattering up a storm every single minute (the “Why, mummy, why?” questions have started, O Woe!)

We blinked and our squishy baby is 10 months old.

Such a bittersweet feeling, knowing that he is our last baby and that we will never, ever cradle a tiny newborn in our arms again. Knowing that our littlest is speeding ahead because he wants to grow up fast, to be just like his big brother.

When we celebrated Aidan’s first birthday, I almost cried but they were mostly tears of relief. That we hadn’t killed the baby (or ourselves!) and that we got through one of the toughest and yet most joyful years of our lives.

Come June 8, when we sing Zac his birthday song, my tears will probably be a silly salty mix of happiness and nostalgia.

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