Oh, hello there!
So, it hasn’t been roses and rainbows around here. I’ve been up to my ears at work and every evening, after putting the littles to bed, I would inevitably conk out too. I wish I could say that I slept like a baby (HAR HAR) but my baby didn’t get the memo on that! So I’m surviving on sleep broken in chunks of two to three hours. And then the littlest one is up at 6-freaking-am!
I don’t know why or how I ended up with two early risers. Meh.
But throughout the chaos and the madness, I realise that it’s really about the little moments in my everyday that keeps me going. Never mind that I had earlier threatened to throw his “fire truck” away (not my finest moment, clearly), my day was defined when Aidan helped me to nebulise a screaming Zac. Zac has a chesty cough and our first line of defense is always the nebuliser, without fail. We are well-trained by our experiences and paediatrician in that manner. So there I was, wrestling a screaming bubba. Aidan started talking to his little brother, “Hey! It’s good for you. It’s good for you, right, Mummy?” And when I started to keep Zac calm, he joined in the singing. He also valiantly tried to keep the loosened tubing of the nebuliser in place, even as Zac was kicking out in frustration at being held down.
The husband finally fixed the child seat that we had bought for Aidan up on my bike and we went on a quick ride around the neighbourhood. Zac was sitting in the seat on the husband’s bike, which used to belong to Aidan. We decided that it was safer for Zac to be riding with papa because he did not have a helmet (our bad) and papa was a better cyclist.
Off we went into the sunset, pedalling across roads, alongside canals and down slopes. We pushed our bikes and the babies up the overhead bridge (my arms!), marvelled at the beautiful sunset, and said hello to the birds. As I pedalled, Aidan kept up a steady stream of conversation and I was struck by just how much he had grown. Meanwhile, the littlest was gazing curiously about him, yelling out his joy every once in a while. (We assume it’s joy. He makes like this “URRRRRR” yell at random times and we have no idea why.)
That night, we laughed and cuddled and read in bed before the littlest had to turn in for the night.
At the end of the day (assuming I am still awake, as I am now, typing this), motherhood is really made up of these tender little moments. Some days are harder than others, but we plod on, fuelled by the joy of these little moments. No matter how tired, how weary, how frustrated, we think about these moments and like flares lighting up the dark sky, we instantly feel much lighter and brighter.
What are some of the little moments that make you feel like you can keep doing this?